Tuesday, May 15, 2012

For the Fellas

Ok. This is for the fellas. Listen carefully guys because I'm gonna move kinda fast. So we love you. I mean we have nothing but love for you. While we are modern women, and neo-feminists, much of what we do is for your enjoyment. We dress in clothes that attract you (yes, we really do). We work out to keep it all tight for you and we even occasionally watch football to make you happy.

Guys, while we love you, we don't love everything about you. In fact, there are somethings we downright hate. Like some of your fashion trends--and I use that term loosely.

Here are some of the fashion trend we hate most:

The fanny pack. If you have one and wear one currently, close the internet browser now. It's a wrap. Nothing more to say about this.

The cell phone on the side holster. we get that you always wanted to be a cowboy when you were growing up and we know that concealed carry gun laws are making you dream big and carrying a side piece, but putting your cell phone on your side is a little weird and douchy. Unless its a real side piece (and that raises other fashion issues), put the cell phone in your pocket.

Baggy pants. Nothing irritates us more than to be asked out by a guy with a backward cap and jeans that sag lower than mamaw's breasts. We like clean and well-fitted garments.

Long finger nails. We really like professional men. And we also like men who use their hands too. If it looks like you're spending more time with the nail tech than we do, it's not hot.

Skinny jeans. Look, they're probably awesome on the 'Biebs and our ten year old nephew, but not on a grown man who wants to date us.

Knit Cap and Flannel (during non-seasonal times) Unless you're Kurt Cobain, leave that in December

Let's hope it's December

Only this guy got unlimited flannel time

Velcro. Wallet. Need I say more?

Dishonorable mentions: trucker hats, hemp shirts, intentionally ripped jeans and t shirts with beer logos on them, wife beaters, short sets, and sandals with socks.

Please keep this in mind when you are looking in your closet for something to wear and if you happen to see ANY of the above items, please dispose of them immediately!

No comments:

Post a Comment